Saturday 14 May 2016

Living in Luxembourg.

So, here I am again, years later and no good excuse for the absence unless the bringing up of four kids can be considered one. 

The Luxembourg honeymoon is over.  Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate its qualities and that's why I'm (we are) still here.  But do not think that Luxembourg is some kind of Utopia, it certainly isn't. 

And it's likely to get worse before it gets any better.

The whole country lives on its reputation.  And what are the key pillars of its reputation?

1. Wealth;

2. Political Stability; and

3. An open, cosmopolitan society. 

Allow me to pick them apart one by one while mixing in some real reasons for considering to live here.

1.  Wealth. Yes, I can't deny it.  The numbers speak for themselves.  A top three spot in terms of GDP per capita.  However, don't forget that 160,000 out of Luxembourg's 360,000 workforce are cross-border workers, the so-called 'frontaliers'/'grenzgänger', who drive across the borders every day, contribute to the GDP, but are not taken into consideration when calculating GDP per capita.  And on top of that, at least those part of the French part of the cross-border population, have to put of with being called Heckenfranzous (literally: French from behind the hedge, a derogatory term used by the natives to describe those 'awful' profiteurs who come only to benefit economically and not to invest themselves in Luxembourg's magnificent cultural heritage).  Yes, the salaries here are relatively high.  At least if you are well-qualified or bring a rare skill.  If you're 'just' a normally-skilled cross-border worker, you are likely to be paid above the rate in your own country (mainly because of lower taxes), but you will be suffering in terms of traffic jams.  For a single breadwinner, the average Luxembourg salary (around 3,000 euros per month) is unlikely to enable you to live within the borders of Grand Duchy.  I'm sure somebody is tempted to say "I know somebody who...', but yes, that somebody is the exception that confirms the rule.  Or somebody who is prepared to live in squalor in order to state a Luxembourg address.  Rent is very high, especially when you consider what an aesthetically mediocre place Luxembourg is.  People dream about living in New York, about owning a pied-à-terre in Paris, a penthouse in Rome, a studio in London. a Georgian one-bed in Edinburgh - but have you every heard about anyone announcing their dream home as a pink two-bed in Luxembourg with PVC windows for the same price?  I thought not.  Taste is rather absent here, despite what the French might say about 'les gouts et les couleurs': read: taste is individual.  Let's be frank, most property is pretty ugly here, but it's expensive for two reasons:  there are jobs here and taxes are low here.  So if you are highly-skilled and you want to get rich, there are worse places to be.  And if you're already rich and you want to stay so, there are worse places to be.  Of course it's better to be in the latter case, because you only have to  put your name on the letterbox and spend most of your time (sorry, to be precise: 184 days) somewhere else, like by an Italian lake.  But, as I realise that I am being critical I have to admit:  If you are in the fortunate position to be highly-skilled, you are at a competitive advantage with the native population (yes, I realise that this might sound horribly pretentious and arrogant, however it is the statistical truth that the Luxembourgers are traditionally fairly low-skilled) and you are likely to get a very good salary (yet probably not as good as the rare, just-as-well-skilled Luxembourgers), enjoy low taxes if you have a large family and be able to put aside significant savings.  But it does indeed feel a little bit like selling your soul to the devil sometimes.

2.  Political Stability.  Ha!  An easy one.  For decades, the country was ruled by a very intelligent man called Jean-Claude Juncker who, because of some ridiculous espionage scandal involving, among perhaps some more juicy details, the blowing up of a telegraph pole, which everyone has since forgotten about, had to resign a few years ago only to become the President of the European Commission (a position in which he is much less harmful prmmmfhahaha).  Let's face it, Juncker is a quite an impressive, if not great, statesman, of the sort one doesn't see many of these days.  Ok, admittedly he's not quite Churchill or De Gaulle, but he certainly has a presence and an intellect which makes critical French tabloid journalists (read Pujadas) shrink back to their actual and merited size.  But at the same time, I am confident that the reason for his unusually high level of (Luxembourgish) public support was in great part due to his cronyism and protection of the so-called 'real' Luxembourgers to whom he granted advantages disproportional to their skills and contribution to society which still persist today.  When Xavier Bettel came to power, it was among cries of conspiracy, because he built a coalition of a number of minority parties in order to form a government.  The Luxembourgers cried foul play, while I am sure a lot of foreigners, including myself, saw this as a breath of fresh air, with a number of reforms having been proposed including an attempt to give foreigners (half the country's population and most of the contributors to the economy, let's face it) the vote.  It failed, of course, seeing that only Luxembourgers could vote in the referendum, but at least it felt, for a split second, like we foreigners were starting to get respected.  With Bettel in power, Luxembourg has quite nicely started to pull out of the crisis and make reforms that are increasingly making Luxembourg a respectable country, not least in terms of transparency.  But despite this, I can tell you one thing for sure:  In the next elections, Bettel will be as dead as a dodo.  Not because he's done a bad job (quite on the contrary), but because only Luxembourgers will be voting and the protection of their own lot weighs far heavier than the sort of their country as a whole.  Finally, political stability is supported by a suspiciously uncritical press.  The average Luxembourger would read the British Daily Mail and have a heart attack.  Here one doesn't mention names and people who complain never get published.  It's quite simple.  Pick up a copy of the Luxembourger Wort and you'll see what I mean.  It's all very "We're all such good friends".  The only paper which allows some critical thought is l'Essentiel (which is one reason that I encourage you all to learn to read and write French) which, despite its rather mediocre journalism, has a very active comments part.  So active and popular, in fact, that the Luxembourg government has considered taking measures to remove it, so as to keep the social peace (read: shut anyone up who dares to criticize this marvelous country).

3. An open, cosmopolitan society.  Again, I can't deny it.  Here in Luxembourg City, my neighbours on one side are the most wonderful Portuguese couple.  On the other side we have a Swedish family who invite us around for crayfish parties in the summer.  Up the road we have mixed a French / Moroccan couple, a few Spaniards, quite a lot of Irish and even some Americans and Aussies + too many other nationalities for me to recall.  And our kids all go to school in perfect harmony (well, as perfect as it can be in a kid's dramatic world).  I tried to explain the concept of racism to my kids the other day, but gave up as they couldn't even begin to fathom the concept.  This place is indeed cosmopolitan, albeit with a very European flavour.  Don't mistake it for New York or London which are true melting pots and cities in a different league.  But what you find is that as a foreigner - and I dare claim this because I have discussed it with a lot of people - most of your acquaintances are likely to be other foreigners.  It's not that the Luxembourgers don't want to spend time with you, but their acceptance seem to be conditional upon you speaking their language (which wasn't one until quite recently).  Which, let's face it, is a show-stopper to a lot.  The referendum confirmed what a lot of us suspected: They want our money and our competence, but they certainly don't want our opinions.  Before it was all polite nods.  Now you know that there's a 3/4 chance that any Luxembourger you meet in the street voted against your say in matters.  That brings some bitterness and a strong sentiment of a lack of democracy (which, by the way, we so eagerly wanted to bring to Irak, but can't establish in Luxembourg).  But that doesn't stop the rest of us from having fun.  The typical social scene here tends to be in a mix of the English and French language, even when Southern or Northern Europeans are involved and it's all quite fun really.  It's just a shame that the State and City Administration hasn't yet caught up with the reality of the Luxembourg demography - good luck trying to find any information in English on the Luxembourg City Hall website. I was expecting things to move in this area under Bettel. You will need a good friend (e.g. me) to help you out.  Funnily enough, all the business information is available in English because they do realise who is paying their world-leading civil servant salaries.  So make sure you learn one of the local lingos once you come here on your expat contract for one of the foreign companies that contribute so strongly to making this country what it is....

That's all from me, folks.  Very critical, I know, but someone needs to be (and it ain't gonna be the local press).  In Paradise.

Good night.

Willy Wauban